Illinois SBDC - Lake County

The Indispensability of Fathers

by Free Okcupid

  • Approximately 30% of all American children are born into single-parent homes, and for the black community, that figure is 68%;
  • Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug andalcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics.
  • Over half of all children living with a single mother are living in poverty, a rate 5 to 6 times that of kids living with both parents;
  • Child abuse is significantly more likely to occur in single parent homes than in intact families;
  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes according to the U.S. Bureau of the Census;
  • 72% of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers. 60% of America’s rapists grew up the same way according to a study by D. Cornell (et al.), in Behavioral Sciences and the Law;
  • 63% of 1500 CEOs and human resource directors said it was not reasonable for a father to take a leave after the birth of a child;
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes according to the National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools;
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes according to a report in Criminal Justice & Behavior;
  • In single-mother families in the U.S. about 66% of young children live in poverty;
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes;
  • Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes according to a study by the Charles F. Kettering Foundation.
  • 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes according to a study by the Center for Disease Control;
  • Of all violent crimes against women committed by intimates about 65% were committed by either boy-friends or ex-husbands, compared with 9 % by husbands;
  • Girls living with non-natal fathers (boyfriends and stepfathers) are at higher risk for sexual abuse than girls living with natal fathers;
  • Daughters of single mothers are 53% more likely to marry asteenagers, 111% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a premarital birth and 92% more likely to dissolve their own marriages.
  • A large survey conducted in the late 1980s found that about 20% of divorced fathers had not seen his children in the past year, and that fewer than 50% saw their children more than a few times a year.
  • Juvenile crime, the majority of which is committed by males, has increased six-fold since 1992;
  • In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households,” according to a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology.
  • The Scholastic Aptitude Test scores have declined more than 70 points in the past two decades; children in single-parent families tend to score lower on standardized tests and to receive lower grades in school according to a Congressional Research Service Report.


Why You Should Get All Your Dating Advice From People Over 30

The Venn Diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t want to date is a circle.

John Green

The best relationship advice you’ll ever get will come from someone over 30. We’ve learned a lot through trial and error and we want to save you at least some heartache by sharing our worst mistakes and our most brilliant observations about human nature.

The worst advice you’ll ever get will come from someone your own age, of the same sex. Don’t ever do what your BFF suggests, unless she is risking the friendship by telling you something you don’t want to hear. In that case, hug her and do what she says.

Here are links to good bits of sage advice from fellow elders:

I. I have a huge crush on John Green. He’s a successful author of Young Adult fiction, but is famous for a YouTube project called VLogBrothers where he and his brother Hank talk back and forth. He’s a self-described nerd with 1.2 million Twitter followers, which he refers to as Nerdfighters. He’s cute too – he kind of reminds me of Peter Krause (Adam on Parenthood). Here’s a recent vlog – Advice on Dumb Boyfriends, Going to College and More. Seriously, girls, this is the kind of guy you should be dating.

II. Paige Parker at Huffington Post wrote 10 Reasons Why Dating is Like Lost. Most posts of this sort are total crap, but this one is excellent. For those of you mourning the loss of Lost today, this should put a wistful smile on your face for a minute.

III. 31 year-old Glamour magazine dating blogger Erin Meanley writes 31 Things I Wish I’d Known About Dating When I Was 21. It is seriously good stuff, and my favorite is the first point she makes:

If you’re confused about whether a guy likes you or not, that’s probably not good. Confusion in romance belongs only in romantic comedies because it suspends the plot, but suspense in real life sucks. So try not to analyze the events. The truth will reveal itself without you having to do anything.

IV. College Candy has a piece on The 11 Things You Do In Your 20s That You’ll Regret When You’re 40. Clearly, someone had help from Mom writing this. All true.

V. Yesterday’s NYXs piece Maybe Bullies Just Want to Be Loved was interesting, but the best bit was this from a study of Dutch children aged 9-12:

Contrary to common myth, bullies are less misfits than they are socially attuned Machiavellis. Moreover, not everyone disapproves of the brutes. “Girls even seem to welcome boys who bully boys,” noted [lead author] Dr. Veenstra.

It would appear that girls prefer jerks long before puberty. It’s not your fault, even scientists say you can’t help it. Just remember, it goes on the list of Really Bad Stuff You Don’t Want to Get Addicted To, falling somewhere between Twinkies and heroin.